Sensation Comics vol. 1 issue 8 — 1:53
Wonder Woman vol. 2 issue 9: Blood of the Cheetah — 13:39
Wonder Woman vol. 4 issue 9: The Dearly Beloved — 24:20
Wonder Woman season 1 episode 8: Last of the $2 Bills — 34:43
News — 49:23
Wonder Woman Theme (The Best Themysciran Symphony Dialogue Dance Mix) by TazDamianDevil: www.youtube.com/watch?v=yivtn1qRo20
Outro music: Wonder by The Doubleclicks: www.thedoubleclicks.com
Review Summaries for the Hearing Impaired
(Not exact transcripts, these are the summaries I write up that I base the recordings on. I’m including them in the post to make the podcast more accessible.)
Sensation Comics vol. 1 issue 8
Secretary Diana Prince asks her coworker, Beth, why she was two hours late, and Beth tell her she saved her friend, Helen, who was recently released from a reformatory, from killing herself. Beth proceeds to tell Helen’s story: Helen and her friend Molly worked at Bullfinch Department Store, but Molly got sick from overwork and malnutrition.
Bullfinch only paid their employees eleven dollars a week, so Molly couldn’t afford enough food or the vitamins the doctor prescribed. Helen promised to get her friend the pills, but was caught when she tried to steal them from the Bullfinch Pharmacy. The judge was willing to be merciful on account of her motives, but the store manager, Mr. Googins, insisted she go to jail. Helen asked Beth to look after Molly, so the shop girl moved in with her, and her health started to improve once she got enough to eat. Then yesterday, Helen got out of jail and went to visit Molly at the Bullfinch store. When Mr. Googins saw the two talking, he fired Helen on the spot. Beth came home that night to find Molly fighting to keep Helen from shooting herself. Together, the women convinced their friend not to end her life, but she swore she’d get her revenge on Bullfinch for ruining them.
Diana, shocked, asks Colonel Darnell if there’s anything they can do. He tells her it’s outside the Army’s jurisdiction, but he can grant her a leave of absence during which she can unofficially investigate. When she reaches the Bullfinch store, a group of women are demanding better pay and working conditions from the manager. He fires them all, claiming there are hundreds of girls waiting to take their place, and when Diana barges her way into his office, he says he only takes orders from the personal representative of Gloria Bullfinch. Diana, seeing the shop girls picketing in front of the store, plans on visiting Miss Bullfinch that night, but her plans are changed when Steve invites her out to dinner! She asks to go to the 400 club, which she knows Miss Bulfinch often visits. There she confronts Gloria and her fiancé, Prince Guigi del Slimo—because the naming convention in 1940s comic books is just one step above Pilgrim’s Progress in terms of subtlety. Before taking off in a huff, Guigi claims the shop girls stole half a million dollars from Gloria, and she says all her business dealings are taken care of by her agent, Mr. Doe at the Hotel Trefair.
After an otherwise lovely evening, as they exit the club, Diana and Steve are confronted by armed men who want to kidnap the secretary. Steve fights back and the men flee, but he follows them in a taxi. He chases them to the Hotel Trefair, but gets knocked unconscious from behind. Diana, driving Steve’s car back home, changes into her Wonder Woman costume and pays a visit to Gloria Bullfinch. She lassos the woman and takes her to Holliday College, where she hypnotizes Gloria into thinking she’s a poor girl named Ruth Smith. Wonder Woman orders Etta to take “Ruth” and the other Holliday girls and get jobs at the Bullfinch store, since they recently fired fifty of their shop girls. Etta ends up working at the candy counter, and “Ruth” realizes how tiring it is to work in the store. Later Beth talks to Diana, telling her that Helen plans to rob the store. Instead of the police, Diana calls Etta as Wonder Woman and tells her and the girls to stay hidden in the shop that night and watch out for thieves. Realizing that Steve is missing, Wonder Woman rushes to the Hotel Trefair to confront Mr. Doe, but his room is empty save for a masked Helen wielding a gun. She’s surprised to see Wonder Woman, who pretends not to recognize her, but just as she’s questioning the girl, she’s knocked out from behind by two thugs. They load her into a car and take her to their boss, evidently ignoring the masked woman who was right in front of them.
At the department store, Etta and the Holliday girls hide in unplugged refrigerators, though Ruth has collapsed from exhaustion. After dark, they sneak through the store and find the murdered body of the night watchman. They see a figure in the dark, and as they grapple with it, a shot rings out. When the lights come on, the girls confront Helen, who broke into the store to steal dresses as revenge for her mistreatment. However, the harmless shot alerted the police, who investigate and find the women.
Meanwhile, Wonder Woman is brought by the thugs into a room with a masked man who, in a foreign accent, tells them they got the wrong girl. She asks Mr. Doe where Steve Trevor is, and he says she knows too much and can no longer live. He has Googins lock her up in a vault labeled Bulfinch. Inside is a large safe, from which the voice of Steve Trevor is heard, yelling to Wonder Woman that there is a bomb inside. She wrenches this door off its hinges and defuses the bomb at the last second. Wonder Woman then forces open the vault door to find the room outside empty, so she and Steve rush to catch their captors. Googins and Doe try to leave the store, but they are met by the police, who tell them they’ve caught the burglars. However, Helen points at Doe and says she suspected he was behind the thieving. That’s why she took a room next to his at the hotel, and was able to hear his plans to steal from the store. She hates Bullfinch so much she didn’t have a problem with that, but she can’t stay silent after the night guard’s murder. Doe slaps her across the cheek, but then Wonder Woman shows up, telling him to do the same to her. All he ends up doing is hurting his hand, so she whacks him across the jaw and removes his mask, revealing Guigi del Slimo. The noise wakes up the unconscious Ruth, whose memory is restored by a gesture from Wonder Woman. She proclaims del Slimo a traitor, calling off their engagement and smacking him across the face in turn. Several days later, Gloria takes over management of the store and hires Helen as for assistant. She tells the women that because Wonder Woman made her understand how difficult their work is, their salaries will be doubled, and their working conditions and hours will be improved.
Wonder Woman vol. 2 issue 9: Blood of the Cheetah
By the light of the full moon, Chuma is performing an ancient ritual. Barbara Minerva’s heart beats to the sound of unheard drums, as the old man stands over her reclined form, then slashes a dagger across her wrist. The blood drains into a waiting bowl, and Chuma bandages her wound, knowing the skin will be unblemished within hours. He takes the blood to the strange potted shrub, mixes it with a potion, and pours it on the base of the weak plant-god, nourishing it so it, in turn, can give his mistress life.
A week later, Wonder Woman is reveling in the joy of flying over the forest north of Boston. Myndi, Julia, and Vanessa watch from the ground, with the publicist saying the letter about the second girdle of Gaea has bolstered the Amazon’s spirits. Julia comments that she’s looked into this Dr. Barbara Minerva, and she seems suspect, but Myndi replies that they’re at least going to have a meeting, and she’ll be with Diana the whole time, since Julia will be busy.
We next see Diana and Myndi riding an elevator up to a penthouse apartment, discussing the importance of the meeting. Chuma opens the apartment door, and they’re greeted by Barbara. She wonders if Diana brought the lasso, and the amazon pulls it out, handing it to the doctor. Diana asks to see Minerva’s artifact, and she says she’ll go get it, but the lasso quickly compels the woman to proclaim that there is no documentation, no girdle, and no Bar—but then she flings it away in anguish. Angered at the betrayal, Diana ignores the fallen woman’s request to talk as she storms out, taking to the sky and calling out to the gods to help her understand the treachery of this world.
At the Kapatelis home, Julia listens while Wonder Woman talks. The princess explains that she feels lost, like her time in man’s world has been useless. She is no longer like her sisters on Paradise Island—her destiny goes beyond just her original mission of stopping Ares. Julia tells her she’s done so much for them, and the world needs time to learn from her, something Diana says she doesn’t have.
That night, Chuma picks berries from the plant-god, mixing them into another potion. Barbara, her body now dotted with black paint, drink the mixture, and she writhes as she begins to transform. Her hair grows long, her spotted skin turns to fur, her strength increases, a long tail appears, and her nails extend and teeth turn sharp as she becomes the Cheetah. She leaps into the city in search of her prey, and Chuma asks the treacherous plant-god—the last of its kind—to protect her.
Lieutenant Candy is at home, watching a news report on the mauled Tamsyn McConnell, when she gets a call from Steve. He tells her his plans to return to Boston have to be cancelled, as his father is dying and he needs to go home to Oklahoma. Etta offers to use her leave time to accompany him, and he accepts, saying it’ll be strange to go home, as he looks at a photo of himself as a boy posed with his parents, both of which wear military uniforms.
We get a quick scene of the Cheetah running though the countryside, hungry and anxious for the blood-feast, before returning to the Kapatelis home. Vanessa is searching for Diana, but her mother says she’s out in the woods, communing with nature. We see Wonder Woman slumbering, propped up against a lakeside tree, a raccoon having decided to sleep on her lap for warmth. Suddenly, a noise scares the forest creature away, waking Diana just before the Cheetah’s tail descends from the branches and wraps around her neck. The amazon is flung into a trunk, shattering it, then leaps as the Cheetah’s razor-sharp claws swing at her. They manage to draw blood, and Wonder Woman tries flying to catch her attacker. The Cheetah uses her inhuman speed to knock the amazon out of the air, and they grapple for a moment, Diana trying desperately to avoid the claws reaching for her eyes, and teeth going for her throat. She manages to punch her opponent off her, then the beast disappears into the foliage. Knowing she’s being stalked, Wonder Woman listens for the creature’s heartbeat, then throws her lasso, managing to captures the cat as it springs. However, the golden cord seems to have no effect, and the Cheetah starts pulling Wonder Woman toward her. There’s a quick tug of war, then the cat charges, smashing her opponent into another tree. Diana is trapped beneath the fallen trunk, but just as the Cheetah leaps at her, Julia appears, shooting the creature with a rifle. It dives into the lake, and Julia says she didn’t have any other choice, as Wonder Woman pulls on the lasso, only to find the loop empty when it breaks the surface. She dives in after her foe, but it’s impossible to see in the inky, fast-moving water.
A few days later, Myndi gets a call from her office, giving her a message from Julia—by the time she’s reading this, Diana is heading home.
At the cliffs at Martha’s Vineyard, Diana prepares to return to Paradise Island. Julia and Vanessa are with her, and she tells them she regrets having to leave, and considers this her second home. Vanessa asks her not to go, and she tells her little sister that she has to return to her mother, while the teen now needs to look after hers. They embrace, and Diana goes over to the waiting Julia. She tells the professor that she initially didn’t understand why the gods chose Julia to be her guide, but now she realizes the wisdom and strength the woman holds. Well, that and I’m pretty sure there’s not that many people who can figure out a never-before-heard dialect of Ancient Greek at the drop of a hat. Julia give Diana a tearful hug, then hands her a duffel bag filled with newspaper clippings about Wonder Woman, as well as a photo of the Kapatelises. The princess gives them an Amazonian salute, then takes off, telling them “until we meet again” before the sandals of Hermes transport her out of sight.
Wonder Woman vol. 4 issue 9: The Dearly Beloved
War, wearing a beige suit that’s spattered with blood, is sitting at an outdoor café in Damascus when Strife walk up. She wants him to go to Hades and Wonder Woman’s wedding, but he says he only goes to a person’s wedding once, so he’s not going to bother witnessing the beginning of Hades’ next failed marriage. As they talk a truck drives up, and the driver hurriedly jumps out and runs away just before the truck explodes. The blast destroys the café, but barely touches the two Olympians as they have their conversation, which ends with War saying he has other things to deal with that he doesn’t truly care about.
At Mount Etna, Lennox is furious that Hermes abandoned Wonder Woman. Eros asks what Hephaestus was thinking, giving Diana his guns, and the smith ponders for a second before they’re interrupted by Zola, demanding they figure out a way to save the amazon. Hermes says he swore to protect the mortal woman, so they aren’t going back, which Lennox refuses to accept. Eros reminds him they can’t get to the underworld without the messenger, but Hephaestus says they can since he’s been invited to the wedding and can bring them as guests. He then goes off to work on a wedding present as the scene switches to Diana in the underworld, preparing for the ceremony. She has a bullet hole in her chest, and her attendant shows her that her groom has reshaped the land of the dead to resemble Paradise Island. The sight bring tears to the amazon’s eyes, so the girl tells her that she’ll let the lord of the dead know his bride doesn’t want to be reminded of home. Diana notices blood dripping on the floor, which turns out to be coming from the attendant’s slashed forearms. She asks who did that to her, and the girl replies that Hades wouldn’t let her leave, so she did it to herself, but her escape attempt angered the god, and now he won’t ever let her forget. It turns out that this girl is Persephone, former wife of Hades.
Zola and Hermes are walking through the woods, with the messenger explaining that only days had passed for them between her capture and rescue. Zola comments that she’s still angry they aren’t on the mission to save Diana, but Hermes says that’s not something she needs to worry about right now. Suddenly, there’s a flash of light, and the two are joined by Aphrodite, goddess of love. Zola is stunned by her beauty, and surprised to learn she’s the wife of the trollish Hephaestus. When Aphrodite comments on her pregnancy, the mortal replies that she’s never felt so ugly before, but the goddess tell her she’s beautiful, and to never forget it. She also says not to blame Hermes, but when Zola asks if she’s going to the underworld as well, Aphrodite explains that there’s no room in Hell for love.
We next see Hades talking to someone off-panel, annoyed that so few of his family are coming to the wedding. The view zooms out to reveal that he’s talking to a pale, tormented man with long white hair and blue-green skin, his head and limbs held in place with chains, and being used by the lord of the underworld as a throne. This turns out to be Cronus, the defeated father of Hades, Poseidon, and Zeus. Strife appears, greeting her uncle and excited for the wedding. She asks for a drink, and Hades indicates the wine pouring from Cronus’ eyes like blood. Getting a gobletful, the goddess tells her uncle that she’d hate for him to be disappointed in love, and that she may have a way to make sure that doesn’t happen again.
Eros, Lennox, and Hephaestus arrive on the shore of the underworld, having been ferried across by Charon. Hephaestus, carrying a box, says the plan is to act normal until they better understand the situation. As they get closer, they see that, in absence of his family, Hades has invited ever soul in the underworld, all of which are glowing a bright white as they join together to make up the walls, pillars, and even road of the city.
The finishing touches to Diana’s makeup are being applied by three dog-looking women with writhing snakes for hair. They tell the amazon that if she shames her husband, their father, they’ll destroy her in vicious and detailed ways. Hades arrives, and the bride and groom ride two skinned horses down the street, through the crowd of glowing souls. The god of the dead tells Diana that, to tell her the truth, he’s incapable of love, though she says she doesn’t believe it. He then claims that he’s been told Diana may not actually love him, and all this is a scheme to keep him from getting Zola and her child. He wonders if her will is truly that strong, and she replies that she loves him. As the smirking Strife looks on, he asks if Diana is willing to prove it by wearing a ring before the ceremony. She says she is, and he leads her to a robed figure standing next to this ring—the lasso of truth, tied into the loop of a hangman’s noose. Hades says she must put it on and profess her love for him, and the truth will either bind her to him or hang her.
Wonder Woman season 1 episode 8: Last of the $2 Bills
January 8, 1977
We start out with a Nazi sub seemingly being sunk in Chesapeake Bay by an American ship. General Blankenship then brings Steve a report saying the top Nazi agent Wotan is going to land on American soil, and is headed for Washington, D.C. Diana show the men the report on the sub, and they wonder if the two are related. Steve is skeptical that there would be no survivors after sinking in such shallow water, so he and Diana go to investigate. Sure enough, it appears the Nazis faked their defeat and are coming ashore in a raft. Steve spots them through binoculars, then sends Diana to report to Blankenship while he goes to confront the men. She makes the call, then spins into her costume. Steve is about to jump the masked Wotan when the Nazi’s American contact shows up behind him and yells a warning to the spy. Steve wrestles with Wotan’s accomplices while Wonder Woman confronts the masked man, taking note of his cold gaze through the eyeholes. But just as she has him pinned, she’s forced to save Steve from his opponent’s bullets, allowing the spy to dump his mask and get away.
A few hours later, Etta and Diana are headed to lunch at the Capitol Café when they’re stopped by Wotan, disguised with a fake beard, offering to take their photo for fifty cents. Etta orders three copies, and Diana notices the photographer’s eyes, wondering where she’s seen them before. As they enter the restaurant, the owner and her fiancé exit and are confronted by Wotan. He takes their picture despite their protestations, then continues to photograph the man as he goes back to work across the street at the Bureau of Printing and Engraving.
A week later, Wotan is back at Nazi intelligence headquarters. Looking at the photo he took of the couple, he chooses, from a lineup, two agents specially trained to infiltrate American. A doctor confirms he will be able to alter their appearance with plastic surgery, and Wotan says they have two weeks before he and the agents must be in Washington.
We return to D.C. a few weeks later, where Etta is complaining to Diana that she never received the photos she ordered. They go to the photo lab, and Diana recognizes the man behind the counter as Wotan’s contact. He says he did some work for the street photographer, but hasn’t seen him in a few weeks, so Diana quickly excuses Etta and herself, then sends the woman back to the office without her. She heads into an ally, spins into her costume, and leaps through a window, into the apartment over the lab. Quickly finding a hidden radio transmitter, Wonder Woman then confronts the spy, stopping his escape with her lasso. She calls Steve and Etta, and they soon arrive. The superhero tells them the man was at the beach when Wotan arrived and shows them the transmitter, which Steve says it set to a frequency used by the Nazis. Etta explains about the photographer outside the café across from the printing and engraving bureau, and Wonder Woman seems curious about a place that prints money. Steve says he sometimes does security checks there and offers her a tour, which Wonder Woman accepts.
Back at the Nazi headquarters, Wotan inspects his two agents, who have been surgically altered to exactly resemble Hank Miller and Maggie Robbins, the photographed couple. He explains that their mission is to steal the plates for the two dollar bill from the bureau and flood the market with counterfeits, ruining the economy. They go off to celebrate, “Hank” complaining of a toothache from a loose filling, while one of the men in the room lags behind. He goes to a cabinet housing a secret radio transmitter, but is discovered before he can finish his message. Blankenship shows Steve what they did receive “Wotan two dollar bill” and they wonder as to its meaning, as we watch the three spies parachute into the US.
Next morning, Diana arrives to find Steve asleep at his desk, having worked all night. He rushes off to for his date, I mean tour, with Wonder Woman, while Diana, contemplating the two dollar bill on his desk, has a revelation.
At the Capitol Café, Wotan, again in disguise, has just been hired as the counter man, since the regular guy mysteriously vanished just this morning. Maggie, the real one, gets a call from Hank about Wonder Woman touring the printing press, and excitedly goes to meet her. Hank explains the gold standard—how the paper money is valuable because it’s backed up by the gold supply in Fort Knox—to his amazon guest, and, let’s face it, the kids watching at home. He says no one can print their own money, because he personally keeps the printing plates locked up safe. As they exit the bureau, Maggie comes up and asks Wonder Woman to sign one of the café’s menus so she can send it to her brother in the service. She and Hank leave, and Wonder Woman conveniently points out to Steve that all it would take is the plates and the right equipment to easily destroy the economy by printing millions of fake dollars. He realizes this is the meaning of the message about Wotan and rushes off, leaving Wonder Woman to smile knowingly.
Headed back to the café, Maggie sees that the sign has been flipped to “closed.” Annoyed, she asks Wotan why he shut down. He tells her she told him to, and the duplicates reveal themselves. Wotan then forces Maggie to call Hank, saying it’s a matter of life and death—hers.
Steve, back in his office, explains his suspicions to Blankenship. The general orders secret service protection for Hank. It’s too late, however, as he and Maggie are locked and guarded in the café basement, while his duplicate, carrying the original’s ID badge, is met by a secret service agent as he returns to the bureau.
Diana arrives at the reopened café to pick up lunch. She again recognizes Wotan’s eyes, and realizes not all is as it seems, when the menu she’s give is the one she signed as Wonder Woman. She excuses herself, heads into an ally, and spins into her costume, then uses a telephone booth to call Steve. She perfectly imitates the secret service agent’s voice, saying something is wrong and Steve needs to meet the agent at the café. Returning to Maggie in her costume, she mentions the autograph for Maggie’s sister, tricking the impostor into revealing herself. The café is otherwise empty, so Wotan steps forward, telling the amazon that he has the real Maggie and Hank imprisoned and will harm them if she doesn’t take off her bracelets and come with him. They head downstairs and he locks her up with the others. They trade barbs before Wotan leaves, telling Hank that soon, the plates will be stolen.
Steve arrives at the café, but the secret service agent is nowhere to be found. He asks Maggie to call Hank, and the disguised Nazi tells him he doesn’t know where the agent—who’s tied up on the floor beside him, has gone. The phony Hank, plates in hand, puts a timebomb in the vault next to the secret service man. Steve greets him outside the bureau, saying he’ll keep Hank safe until another agent arrives. The spy winces in pain from his loose filling, and Steve insists he go directly to a dentist the Major is friends with. “Hank” drops the plates off at the café first, telling Wotan what’s going on. Agreeing to meet up later, Wotan shows the plates to his captives, before taking off in a car.
While the guard isn’t looking, Wonder Woman breaks the padlock keeping their cell closed. She sees the armed man examining her bracelets and offers to show him how to put them on. For some reason he’s dumb enough to come closer, and she gabs his arm through the bars and forces him to drop his gun. The amazon then quickly takes the man out, recovers her bracelets, and tells Hank and Maggie to go to the War Department and explain what’s happened to Blankenship.
Steve is met in the waiting room by his friend, the dentist. Hank’s filling has been removed, and it turns out to be made of steel, which it’s rumored the Nazis have had to resort to, due to a lack of gold and silver. Now suspicious, Steve tells the dentist not to mention this to his patient.
Wonder Woman lures the fake Maggie to the basement and catches her in her lasso. The impostor tells her that Wotan is taking the plates to the rendezvous point, where they’ll be picked up by submarine. The spy is locked in the cell and Wonder Woman takes off after Wotan, as Steve and the fake Hank arrive. They learn from a patron that Maggie disappeared into the basement, and go to take a look, but the Nazi knocks Steve down the steps. He frees his accomplices and locks up Steve instead, telling him the secret service agent is in the bureau vault with a bomb. After they leave to meet their sub, Steve is able to pick the lock and rushes to the vault. As Wonder Woman confronts the Nazis on the beach, Steve works desperately to defuse the bomb. Wotan paddles an inflatable raft as Wonder Woman takes care of the other spies, but before he can reach the waiting sub, the amazon throws her tiara like a boomerang, popping the dingy. Wotan swims to shore, defeated, and Steve manages to stop the bomb’s timer with only seconds to spare.
Back at his office, Steve gives Etta the casefile to put into storage, along with a memento—the last two dollar bill to be printed. It seems that the government has decided to stop producing them in order to avoid a repeat of Wotan’s plan. Etta mentions that Steve’s report ignores his actions defusing the bomb and gives all the credit to Wonder Woman, which he says she deserves. Etta comments that she wishes she was like Wonder Woman, and Diana gives her friend some advice her mother used to tell her—that the most they can do is try to be the best woman they can be.