Wonder Woman Theme (The Best Themysciran Symphony Dialogue Dance Mix) by TazDamianDevil: www.youtube.com/watch?v=yivtn1qRo20
Outro music: Wonder by The Doubleclicks: www.thedoubleclicks.com
Review Summaries for the Hearing Impaired
(Not exact transcripts, these are the summaries I write up that I base the recordings on. I’m including them in the post to make the podcast more accessible.)
Sensation Comics Vol. 1 Issue 2
Wonder Woman is flying a silent, transparent plane with the bandaged Steve Trevor lying unconscious on a cot beside her. Steve awakens for a moment, thinking he’s in heaven and that Diana is a beautiful angel, which she says is the first time a man’s called her beautiful. Well yeah, isn’t this the first time she’s heard a man speak, ever? He’s the fist guy she’s ever seen and he didn’t wake up after crashing on Paradise Island. Anyway, after landing the plane and hiding it in an abandoned barn outside Washington, D.C., she delivers Steve to Walter Reed Hospital, then runs off before she can answer the doctors’ questions.
Needing to kill time while Steve recovers, Wonder Woman decides to go window shopping. There’s a pretty funny bit where she comments on how much fabric American dresses use, all the while ignorant of the scandalized reactions the people around her are having to the sight of a woman wearing essentially a strapless minidress. She comes across a bank robbery in-progress, so she leaps into action, commenting how fun it is to play Bullets and Bracelets again. By the time the police show up she’s taken out all the thieves. As she runs away from the officers’ questions she is perused by a man in a car who saw her stop the robbery. Diana keeps running faster, and her pursuer has to speed up to 80 miles an hour just to pull along side her and tell her he has a business proposition. He introduces himself as Al Kale, a booking agent who can get her Bullets and Bracelets act on stage, which he says would be very profitable. Realizing she needs money, Diana agrees, and for three weeks she gives performances that break theater records and get written about in all the newspapers. While reading a paper, Diana sees an article that says Captain Trevor has awoken from his concussion-induced coma, so she tells Kale she’s quitting. Upset, he decides to take her half of the money, but she stops him and recovers her share before he can escape.
As she approaches the hospital, Wonder Woman sees an Army nurse with dark hair and glasses crying on the steps. Asking if there’s any way she can help, the nurse says she was recently assigned to the hospital but her fiance just got a job in South America. His salary is too small to send for her, so Diana–noticing that the two women look very similar–offers to buy Nurse Prince’s identity so they both can be with the men they love. The woman–also conveniently named Diana–will be able to afford the move to South America, and Wonder Woman–also conveniently a trained nurse–will be able to care for Steve. Ahh, ya’ gotta love good ol’ fashioned Golden Age coincidences. The original Diana Prince agrees, and so the new Dina Prince becomes the special nurse for Captain Trevor.
As the Captain recovers, he says he’s wasting time and wants to get back to work. Nurse Prince tells him she thinks he’s more interested in finding the woman who brought him to the hospital–this “beautiful angel” he keeps talking about. After reading a newspaper article about a Nazi threat to bomb Camp Merick with poisonous gas that can’t be stopped by gas masks, Steve sneaks out of the hospital and reports for duty. Diana returns to the barn where she hid the transparent plane as Steve flies his fighter around the camp waiting for the enemy bomber. When it arrives he tries shooting it from the sky, but when he realizes his bullets aren’t working against the armored plating he crashes into the Nazi plane, ejecting at the last second. His parachute is damaged in the explosion, however, and he plummets to earth. Wonder Woman catches him in mid-air, and he recognizes his beautiful angel–though she comments she’s more like a guardian angel!
The enemy pilot also managed to eject from his plane, so Wonder Woman rescues him as well. He’s mortally wounded, though, and before he dies he taunts the Allies that more poison gas bombs will be dropped by planes coming from his secret base. Conveniently, Diana had the foresight to consult the magic sphere about the location of this base before she left Paradise Island, so she’s able to fly them right to the enemy’s island. She and Steve fight their way into the base, don some gas masks, and shoot a container of poison gas–though apparently this is a different kind of poison gas than the one used in the bombs they’re dropping on America, since that one was specifically said to permeate gas masks. Knowing he’s dying, the base leader set off the self-destruct, but Wonder Woman is able to leap clear of the explosion. She pulls Steve from the rubble, and he returns to the hospital with a broken leg. There, Steve is congratulated for breaking up the Nazi gang, but he insists that the credit belongs to the beautiful angel Wonder Woman. His superiors think he’s delirious, but he insists there is a Wonder Woman. Nurse Prince says she believes him, but that he doesn’t need one now since he has her. He replies that she’s nice and he likes her, but she can’t compare to Wonder Woman. The issue ends with Diana wishing her mother could see her now and musing on the irony that she’s her own romantic rival.
Wonder Woman Vol. 2 Issue 2
It’s midnight, and Colonel Steve Trevor has been summoned by General Kohler to report to him at Hanscom Air Force Base. As his attaché Lt. Etta Candy drives them through a thunderstorm, Trevor wonders why Kohler, a man he reported to a congressional investigation committee for crimes in Vietnam, would want to see him. Reporting for duty, Trevor learns his mission is to fly a new fighter jet to show it off to some foreign VIPs. He points out that he’s overqualified for the mission and that the coordinates he’s supposed to fly to are in the middle of nowhere, but Kohler, no love lost between the two, yells at him to shut up and follow orders. After meeting his overly-aggressive copilot, Captain Slade, Steve flies the jet off the runway as Kohler watches, musing over the fact that peaceful Colonel Trevor is doing the will of Ares, the god of war.
On Themyscira it’s also thundering, and thick clouds fill the sky as Diana approaches a statue of Artemis to learn the details of her mission. Her mother and a few of her sisters watch, and Menalippe mentions that the gods promised to give their champion a special weapon. On Mount Olympus the Amazons’ goddesses urge Hephaestus, god of metalworking, to hurry as he forges this weapon from Gaea’s girdle–the Lasso of Truth. Finally complete, it appears in front of Diana in a flash of lightning that came from the statue. As she goes to pick it up she’s greeted by Hermes, whom the Amazons haven’t seen in centuries, and he transports the two of them to where she can find the first clue to stopping Ares.
In the churning skies, Steve Trevor tries to radio the base to report reaching his destination, but the signal is lost in the storm. Slade then notices their navigation equipment is malfunctioning, moments before the plane encounters rough turbulence and starts spinning out of control. Just in time Steve manages to regain control and they begin to gain altitude again.
Hermes and Diana arrive in Areopagus, the now-crumbling palace of the god of war. Inside he leads her to a woman wrapped in rags–a woman powerful enough to destroy the messenger god, but who may speak to Diana as she’s never met her and so has no reason to hate the Amazon. Calling herself Harmonia, she says she wants to be left alone, but when Diana says she’s trying to stop Ares she give the princess a talisman to help her find him. Harmonia explains that as the daughter of Aphrodite she could have been beautiful, but because Ares was her father her chance at beauty was destroyed. She warns Diana not to be corrupted by the power of the talisman just before Hermes calls to the Amazon that he’s heard the cries of her sisters and that Themyscira is in great danger.
The warrior women are in a panic as a “giant bird” breaks through the clouds protecting the island. Inside this “bird” Steve has only a moment to realize he’s been flying over a city before Slade wraps his hands around his throat. The co-pilot, ignoring his suddenly smoking and melting flesh, raves how they needed the unbeliever’s skill to get through Athena’s clouds, but because he opposed the servants of Ares Trevor will now die–but not before being forced to bomb the Amazons. The sight of Wonder Woman flying towards what she thinks of as a giant metal bird with a transparent head changes his plans however, so Slade releases the bomb before losing control of the plane and crashing in the ocean. Diana quickly realizes the bomb is a weapon and so lassos it and sends it flying off to detonate harmlessly in the sky. The Amazons marvel at this weapon that can set the sky on fire as Diana dives after the plane, hoping she can learn more about Ares’ plan from their attacker. She sees the disintegrating body of Slade, but is warned not to touch it by the sea deity Themis, who instead instructs her to rescue Colonel Trevor.
Back at Hanscom Base, Lt. Candy found Steve’s midnight mission very odd, and so called Kohler’s superior, General Hillary. The General was unaware of the mission and furiously demands to see Kohler, but when they open his office door all that’s left is a smoking skeleton.
After rescuing the colonel Diana took him to the island of healing, a small island off the coast of Themyscira. There the injured man is taken care of as the Amazons debate whether or not to let him live. Their argument is broken up by the appearance by Athena–the first in over 3000 years. She reveals that the amulet Diana got from Harmonia is only one half of the talisman, and only when it’s complete will they be able to find and defeat Ares. Hermes arrives to take Diana and Steve to man’s world, and after hugging her mother goodbye and saluting her sisters Diana picks up the unconscious man and the messenger god uses the mortal’s thoughts to transport them back to the place he came from.
Meanwhile General Hillary watches as Kohler’s remains are loaded into an ambulance. He questions Lt. Candy and Colonel Michaelis about Trevor, and they insist he had nothing to do with the man’s death. As they talk they are unaware that they’re being watched through a mystic portal by mysterious figures. These two comment on the deaths of Kohler and Slade, though they seem unconcerned since they can control thousands more. The issue ends with the reveal of these strange beings as Phobos and Deimos, sons of Ares and gods of fear and terror.
Wonder Woman Vol. 4 Issue 2
On Mount Olympus Hera watches Diana, Zola, and Hermes from the end of the last issue, crying out in displeasure. A mysterious women with a shaved head, pale purple skin, and wearing a torn black dress appears, and they have a conversation about Zeus’ infidelity. Hera tells the woman, who appears to be her daughter, about how Hermes has recruited Wonder Woman to protect the child, but she still plans to exact her vengeance on Zola for sleeping with her husband.
It’s night on Paradise Island, and Diana carries a wounded Hermes through the forest, followed by Zola. She hears the Amazons whispering plans to attack, but once she makes her identity known they come out of hiding and bow before their princess, who in turn bows before her mother when Queen Hippolyta comes striding out of the trees.
Once in the city, Hippolyta warns Diana against siding against Hera, who will stop at nothing to punish Zola for carrying Zeus’ child. Diana says she’s siding with neither the god of Thunder nor his wife, but rather with the mortal woman. In another room, Zola asks the wounded Hermes why Wonder Woman seems different than the other Amazons, and he tells her the classic origin of Diana being sculpted from clay and brought to life by the gods without the involvement of men. Diana spars with another Amazon while Hippolyta watches, worried about Hera knowing Zeus’ child is on Paradise Island.
Suddenly there’s an explosion in the distance, and we see the purple-skinned goddess from earlier walk out of the flames. Diana leads the Amazons to confront the intruder, but their eyes begin to glow like the stranger’s and they begin attacking each other out of confusion. Wonder Woman realizes what’s happening and orders them to throw down their weapons. As she tries to restrain one of her sisters she encounters the purple woman, now grown so tall that she towers over the trees. She recognizes the goddess as Strife and realizes her power of sowing discord is what’s causing the Amazons to attack each other. Strife clams she was reacting to being attacked and that she’s actually come in peace. Diana thinks she must be lying and so throws the Lasso of Truth around her neck. Amused, Strife says she only came to Paradise Island to hug her little sister. The Amazon thinks she means Zola’s child, but the goddess says no–she’s talking about Wonder Woman.
Wonder Woman Season 1 Episode 1
At the War Department in Washington D.C. in 1942, General Blankenship comes to Major Trevor’s office to warn him about new activity from a Nazi spy ring that was thought to have been defeated when Steve put its leader, Baroness Von Gunther, behind bars. Diana tells the General that Steve’s off on a training mission, but after hearing his warning that Trevor may be in danger decides to spin into her costume and go check on him. She arrives just in time to rescue Steve from a horrible accident when the truck he’s in breaks its axle and goes careening off a cliff. Back at the general’s office Steve learns that the truck he ordered for the training mission was switched for one carrying a shipment of a new type of weapon. Steve suspects the truck was sabotaged and the General agrees–in fact this is the fourth weapons shipment that’s been sabotaged when Trevor was nearby. The Senate has called a secret hearing to review the case against the Major, to be headed by steel magnate Arthur Deal III. Steve needs to present his top-secret orders to prove he was there on military business, but he and Diana are unable to find the papers in his office. Steve gets a call from an anonymous informant saying he will give Trevor the information he needs, as well as the missing orders, if he meets him alone at a stable in the middle of nowhere. Diana suspect it might be a trap, but she’s wrong–it’s *obviously* a trap. When the Major arrives he’s knocked unconscious by his informant and placed in the now-burning stable right next to a box of matches. The informant then calls the police to tell them that Major Trevor has set fire to the stable, which it turns out is actually a secret Army ammo stockpile. Wonder Woman arrives in time to rescue Steve, and they escape just before the police arrive.
Trevor wakes up lying on the couch at his secretary’s apartment. She tells him he was left on her doorstep with a note from Wonder Woman explaining that the Abwehr spy ring is behind the attacks. Realizing that the attacks are all in the area of the prison holding former Abwehr leader Baroness Von Gunther, they decide to pay her a visit to see if she can give them any information. While talking with the prison warden, they’re interrupted by the warden’s son Tommy, a young Sherlock Holmes-obsessed boy whose stories of investigating a hidden tunnel are dismissed as a fantasy by his father. Tommy is sent to play outside, where he finds a hidden door in the prison wall that opens with a strange key he found lying on the ground. Meanwhile Steve and Diana interview the Baroness, who claims to be both reformed and ignorant of the Abwehr’s current activity. Diana glances out a window and spots Tommy climbing a rickety ladder, so she excuses herself then secretly spins into her costume and leaps to catch the boy, landing them both on the roof. As they climb down with the golden lasso, Tommy says he was trying to investigate the signal lights he’d seen the night before. Realizing she doesn’t have time to retrieve the lasso before the guards arrive, Wonder Woman asks Tommy to hide it until she can return. The Baroness happens to see the superhero and the boy from her window as the Major continues his questions. He notices the odd necklace she’s wearing–one that the audience realizes just happens to look like the key that Tommy found–but she dismisses it as an old heirloom. Unsuccessful, Steve meets up with his secretary and they leave.
That night the Baroness and a guard named Hansen sneak out of the prison, using–and this may come as a shock so make sure you’re sitting down–the Baroness’ necklace to open the door to the hidden tunnel. I know, I could hardly believe it myself. Thankfully they’re watched by Tommy, who’s camped out in a tree taking notes in his casebook about everything he sees. The Baroness drives to a mansion, where she meets with a very wealthy man and they discuss framing Trevor for sabotaging the weapons shipments.
Back at the prison the next day, Von Gunther approaches Tommy pretending to be a friend of Wonder Woman. She tricks him into revealing the hiding place of the lasso, which her guard Hansen promptly steals.
Major Trevor goes to a meeting at the home of Arthur Deal, the man in charge of his hearing. We and Steve quickly realize he is actually the Baroness’ rich accomplice, just before Von Gunther herself enters the room with a gun pointed at Trevor. After tying him up, she shows Steve the magic lasso, telling him that if he doesn’t sign a confession he’ll never see Wonder Woman again. The confession makes its way back to the War Department, but Diana refuses to believe it. As Wonder Woman she returns to the prison to retrieve her lasso, but Tommy tells her it was taken. He did write down the license plate number of the car the Baroness drove off in, so Wonder Woman calls the Department of Motor Vehicles, and by using her ability to perfectly mimic General Blankenship’s voice–which is apparently a thing she can do now–gets the name of the car’s owner: Arthur Deal. She heads to Deal’s mansion and finds Trevor tied up, but is knocked out by sleeping gas and bound in chains before she can rescue him.
Back at the prison, the guards finally notice that the baroness isn’t in her cell. A search ensues, but Tommy’s attempts to tell his father how she escaped are ignored. The boy is overheard by the Hansen, who captures him and brings him to Deal’s mansion.
The Nazis, now with three captives, plan kill the adults and frame them as spies to destroy the country’s moral. But as they try to move the prisoners Wonder Woman breaks her bonds, and she and Steve make quick work of their captors. The Baroness tries to escape, but Wonder Woman chases her down and catches her with the golden lasso.